I Want Your Arsenal of Whys

Ok ya I’m a curious person by nature. I like observing and listening to people, I like understanding why they do the things that they do. I think that’s why I went into psychology for my formal education and really why I liked working with victims of violence. Sure it was all really intense, but I liked hearing people tell their stories, I liked learning about them, and figuring out what drove them to engage in specific behaviors.

Maybe that’s why I like serial killer documentaries on Netflix…

When I moved into training people full time, my curiosity expanded into learning why someone would workout. I know why I workout. I know that on a superficial level, I’m working out to keep my weight in check and my chronic pain in check so I don’t need further intervention on any of my previous injuries, specifically my food. On a deeper level, I know I workout because I want to show myself that even though I suffered this life changing tragedy, I’m still strong and still capable.

We all have a reason WHY we workout 🏋️‍♀️. Why we take time out of our busy days, with all things our families, our work, our friends need from us.

Your reasons are most likely not the same as my reasons, but you still have them. You still have your reasons, superficial or not, that bring you back to what you’re doing time and time again. Those reasons are obviously insanely valid, otherwise you wouldn’t keep coming back.

I’ve heard so many of your why’s over the years. I’ve been so fortunate to be in a place of confidence with you that you’ve even shared some of those deep, dark, don’t share them with anyone else why’s. You’ve confided things in me that you’ve never told a single soul, and I’m grateful for that level of trust. Not just because it shows me how valuable I am to you, but because that understanding helps me HELP YOU.

But I want you to have 200 reasons WHY. Ranging from the superficial reasons to the deep, dark reasons that no one else knows.

You know when you get into an intense workout, it’s going to start to suck. You know you’re going to hit a point where you can very easily justify cutting an interval off early or stepping away from a workout early. Because really, if you leave 2 minutes early on a 30 minute workout and you’re by yourself, who’s going to know besides you?

It’s in those moments you’re going to need all the reasons in the world to keep coming back.

So when your workout gets to the point when you start to question your life choices and the first 20 reasons why you show up aren’t good enough, I want you to fall back on all the other reasons.

Think about those why’s, maybe even write them down so you have a direct reminder in those workouts for why you’re doing what you’re doing.

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Change Your Mind

Sometimes we have to change our mind before we create our muscles.

Mindset fucks people on their workouts. Yet it is the one part of the workout most people don’t want to talk about. I notice this ALL the time on social media and the amount of dropout I get when I start talking about how much your head plays a role in the success of your workouts.

Grab Your Dumbbells!

As an instructor, I’ve gotten to see the power of how someone thinks for so many years in so many different people. I’ve seen the power of thoughts propel a person forward into doing something they didn’t think previously possible, and I’ve also seen the power of someone’s thoughts totally hold them back.

I made it a rule in my class that no one was allowed to say “I can’t” when it came to an exercise. As soon as that thought creeps in and you voice it, you won’t be able to do it. Even though I know before that negative thought came in, you very well could’ve done it and done it well.

Most of the time, it’s a matter of being patient and showing yourself compassion that the first time you do anything complicated, it’s going to be a mess. There’s a learning curve with anything, especially fitness. A lot of the times we think we can’t do it because we don’t know the progression of exercise that goes into the hard exercises. That you have to build muscle memory, you have to warm up and activate your body, and build up to the hard exercises.

This is where your mind is the only thing holding you back. Your mind is the only thing creating the excuses that are holding you back from achieving your fitness goals. It’s amazing the limitations we put on ourselves because we’re scared or intimidated.

But if limitations are self imposed, how do you get past that negative thought process?

Your mind is the hardest thing to change. It’s such a powerful muscle and it has so much control over everything we do.

How do you turn that tiny voice saying “Yes I can” into a roar?

Here’s the Top 3 Changes I made to get my mind on board with the change in my body I KNEW I deserved:

1. I started realistically. Not small, but realistically. I planned workouts 🏋️‍♀️ into my day that I knew wouldn’t have me rushing for time or stressed that it was taking up too much of my day. I made sure I had back up workouts planned for when my original workout 🏋️‍♀️ wasn’t going to fit into the constraints of my day.

2. I listened to my body and respected it. It meant shoving my ego out of the way and meeting my body where it was at for THAT DAY. Maybe that means going lighter on the weights because I slept funny or doing a yoga 🧘‍♀️ session instead of cardio because my hamstrings felt tight. Regardless, I was showing up for myself and reinforcing healthy habits.

3. I focused on how GOOD I felt AFTER the workout 🏋️‍♀️. I never forgot my ultimate fitness goals, but that is not my main focus during my workout. My focus is on the knowledge that I’ll feel amazing when my workout is done, regardless of the kind of workout I do.

You're it Babe

The only one who’s going to make sure you achieve your fitness goals is YOU.

Here’s the thing with fitness: I can teach you skills all the live long day. I’m freaking good at teaching skills. I can get your body to do the hard exercise and to do the thing, because I have honed my OWN skills of teaching people how to do hard things.

While I can teach skills, I can’t teach heart. I can’t teach you to want getting in shape and feeling better for yourself. I can’t teach the hustle of showing up to show yourself you’re strong.

That’s completely on you.

I know the one time you’re thinking you would actually ask for help, it won’t really do a whole lot. Even when you hire a coach, the work is still ultimately up to you.

The people I train who get the transformation they’re wanting, the one they crave so much they can taste it and the one they don’t tell anyone else about, are the ones who know that whatever happens is their doing.

They’re over making excuses as to why working out is on the back burner, they prioritize their health with the knowledge that everything else will get done. But their health is their priority. 

Most importantly: they show up especially when they don’t want to show up.

Those days when they would rather lay on their couch, they’re doing the work. When they’re tired, when they’re not motivated, when they’re over it, they’re showing up.

They know that even with the support they have, the choices they make are ultimately their own and achieving their goals is ultimately up to them.

It’s that simple. 

Not every workout is going to be easy, not every workout will be your best, and that’s ok. Because in those no so awesome moments is where you truly build your strength and where you show yourself that you are WORTH achieving your goals.

What matters more is continuing to show up and to put in the effort even when the going gets tough or things don’t go as planned. That doesn’t mean it’s always going to be pretty but it does mean that you will progress because you’ll be consistent. 

My Pro Tip for establishing those consistent habits? Make appointments with yourself in your calendar like you would for the doctor or to get your haircut. Then don’t cancel. You wouldn’t cancel those other appointments so why would you cancel on yourself? Then keep doing that until showing up becomes second nature.

Try it for a month, then message me and let me know how it went and how much better you feel.

Tell that Negative Voice to STFU

Why do we always go to the negative narrative when the workout gets hard?

I do realize we can be our own biggest critics. I feel like it’s just human nature, albeit a crappy one, but that’s our inclination. Shit gets hard and we automatically start telling ourselves how much we suck.

When really we don’t.

But when that negative narrative kicks in, all we end up doing is sabotaging ourselves. It creates this horrible cycle because we end up dreading the workout, knowing it’ll be “too hard”, thinking “we’re not strong enough”, and then we’ll find an excuse to avoid the workout. Then the cycle continues. Much to our own personal detriment.

So we gotta change that narrative.

Working out for me is a reminder of how strong I am, even though it wasn’t always that way. My workouts will always get hard, that’s intentional because I don’t have a lot of time in my day TO workout so I want to feel like every workout is worth my time.

When I get into that space where the workout is making me want to quit, when it’s THAT hard, I simply tell myself “yes I can”. I put that on repeat and I keep going. And even if the workout isn’t pretty or isn’t my best, I still proved to myself that I could do it.

You have to find that positive narrative for yourself. I found that space for myself by having some serious reflection about all the bad shit I’ve experienced in my life and how I overcame ALL of it. Which is just a testament to my own strength and resilient, but we’re all the same in that regard. We’ve all been through shit, be it positive or negative, and we’ve ALL gotten through it.

So yes YOU can do it. You can continue to prove to yourself that you’re strong, that you’re resilient and you’re more capable than what you think.

I Thought I Needed a New Job

Grab Your Dumbbells!

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The first time I tried to work out after I had Grace, I totally thought I would have to find a new line of work. I’m not even kidding. I went into the studio by myself and tried to do one exercise and completely failed. Bye bye being a fitness instructor.

My body felt like crap 💩, I couldn’t move the way I used to before, oh and needless to say, I was tired 😴 af. I never knew that I could feel so freaking uncomfortable in my own skin and it made me sad because I didn’t think I had the power to change it.

I could’ve accepted that reality, but I knew that wouldn’t work for me. It was more daunting for me to remain miserable than for me to figure out how to change it.

So I tried switching up my fitness game. I failed. I tried again. I failed again. I got frustrated AF and discouraged doesn’t even begin to describe how I felt on a daily basis. I kept trying until I finally found what worked the best for my post baby body and post partum schedule.

I kept adapting and overcoming until I figured out what would work the best for my life. But I had an upper hand in comparison to other moms around me because I had the education and experience to help guide me through my process.

Not everyone has that background in fitness and nutrition. 

That background gave me the tools I needed to be able to get back to a place where being in my own skin felt like home. My determination gave me the motivation I needed to get to that place.

But I am doing NOTHING with all of these tools and with my own journey if I don’t share my experience with the people around me. Not just so every single person can feel amazing in their own skin, but so they also have the tools to know how to maintain that transformation once they get it.

Stronger Today than Yesterday

I dare you to get stronger than yesterday. 

The first time I worked out after I had my daughter, I legit felt like I was going to have to get a new job. I felt so weak, I didn’t think I would ever be able to train people again.

It sent me into a straight panic.

I had no idea what I was going to do or how I should handle things. I felt weak and it made me feel so discouraged. I pride myself on being able to teach people the things that I put my own body through, and at that point in my life, I didn’t feel like my body could effectively do anything.

Then I realized that I wasn’t any different from the people around me. If I felt that way after having a kid, I probably wasn’t alone in that sentiment of feeling like I would never be strong again. 

I knew I could fix it though. I just knew it would take time.

I regained my strength. It took time and a whole lot of patience because I knew that in order to regain my strength and maintain my strength in a healthy manner, it wouldn’t be an overnight adventure. 

But then I took a deep breath, and I set small incremental goals so I could regain my strength and whenever I felt like I wasn’t getting there quickly enough, I reminded myself that consistently doing the work would get me the results I wanted.

How Ya Feeling Today?

I felt like shit in my own skin for a L O N G time.

Discouraging doesn’t even begin to describe how horrible I felt. People would tell me it was my new normal after having a kid, I just needed to accept that my body would be kinda...fluffy...that I had a c-section so this was reality now. Shit, people were saying that to me before the kid even came out of my body. Like I had to just accept that I would have this mambod and it would be jiggly and gross and I wouldn’t like how I looked at all…

Deep down, my instinct was SCREAMING that this was a load of bullshit. 

Even with the experience and education to know what I needed to do to get to the place where I felt like home again in my own body, the process was still daunting.

Because I was tired 😓 and the thought of having to do anything felt like too damn much. Adjusting to being a new mom was a LOT and looking at all these women who looked like they had all their shit together with no effort and looked amazing helped nothing. Especially when I had a kiddo who would scream her head off any time I tried to work out. I’m serious. Even if she was in a dead sleep and I tried to workout, she would scream.

Then I started thinking that if I felt like this with all my years of experience, with all the education I have for losing weight and working out, someone who doesn’t have that background must feel a million times worse than me. Like just give up and not even try worse. Because I have the benefit of knowing how to tweak workouts when I feel like I’ve plateaued and I know how to work my fitness game to best serve my body. Hell, it’s what I do for a living. Of course I knew what to do for myself. But I’m not so naive to think that everyone has that kind of background or even that basic body awareness.

That’s why I want to help YOU. I know how tired you are, I know how overwhelmed you feel, I know you have NO idea where to begin. But I do and I can help you through it so you can get to the place where you have energy and you feel like yourself again. I’m doing nothing if I’m sitting on all this expertise and not sharing it with the people around me. I don’t want you to give up and equally as important, I know that when you take care of yourself, it’s easier to take care of those around you. So let me help you. Let me share my knowledge and experience with you by meeting you where you’re at on your journey right now and showing you the way to get to where you want to be.

Your Reaction is Everything

You can control your reaction. 

In life for sure but also in your workout. A lot of the time what ends up happening when the workout gets hard isn’t your body giving up, but your brain telling you to quit. 

That little negative voice in your head ends up getting so big and so loud that you stop. Eventually, you continue to fall into that negative line of thought so often that you stop working out all together. 

It just seems like the easier solution because showing up and failing isn’t appealing to anyone. 

I challenge you to have power over that voice. 

It won’t happen right away, it takes time, it takes practice and even with that, the negative voice will still creep in. It’s like our natural reaction to challenge. 

I’m not saying that you need to make the negative voice go away completely, but I am saying that you need to temper your reaction to that negative voice. 

When I find that negative voice kicking in, I tell myself “I got this” on repeat. Then I try to NOT take a break. Maybe I slow down what I’m doing, get my breath back, or switch to lighter weights but I try to keep going. I know for me, if I stop, I’ll STOP. So I avoid it at all costs. I check my form, I check myself, and I keep going. 

I challenge you to do the same. Whatever it is you need to remind yourself that you can get through a 10 minute workout, that the workout won’t own you, do it. Control your reaction so you can see that you are capable and completely in control. 

The Comparison Hole

Getting stuck in the comparison scroll hole nearly killed my vibe after I had Grace.

It’s hard to not feel badly about how you look when you see the mom on IG who’s had baby #6 8 weeks ago and is already posting selfies of her 6 pack. Oh and she looks like she slept through the night 🌙 too…which is awesome for her, but it’s hard to NOT go to the negative place when you see the highlight reel.

Compound that with being in the fitness industry where I literally am a walking billboard for what I do, and feeling badly is taken to a whole new level. At least for me.

I remember telling my clients that when my doctor gave me the clear to workout again, I went into the studio alone. I tried ONE exercise and struggled so badly with it that I thought I would need to find a new job. I didn’t know how I be able to teach things that my body couldn’t currently do much less with how I looked. Which wasn’t like myself. I felt weak, and I felt worse than discouraged. 

I busted my butt to feel strong again. To feel like myself again. But it didn’t work. I did two workouts a day, sometimes three, at least 5 days a week and NOTHING.

I found myself looking on social media for insight into how to get my strength back. I thought surely even with all my years of experience, I was missing something, but I couldn’t find any answers. The only thing I found where women who bounced back seemingly without any effort.

It only made me feel worse.

So I became determined to create a community for women to have the support they needed to find their strength and confidence again, without feeling like they needed to be shoved into a box.

I want you to have a community that is going to support and love ❤️ you on your journey with fitness, and a coach who understands that everyone’s BODY, life, and journey are completely different.

I want you to have that safe space to let go of your frustrations and find the power in your own body without worrying about how you look or what other people think about how you look. I want you to focus on your own journey with the tribe around you to get you to your goals.

I couldn’t find that for myself so I created it. Join us. We’re always accepting new members.

IDGAF

I don’t give af what anyone else thinks.

Are you proud?

At the end of your workout 🏋️‍♀️, that’s ☝️ all that matters. After all, you’re the one doing the work so your feelings about it matter the most. 

I’ll let you in on a little secret too: anyone around you who matters, who’s opinion you value, will ALWAYS be proud of you. 

But I know even if the workout wasn’t your best, if you’re proud, you’ll keep showing up.

That’s what matters to me. I know if you keep showing up, if you keep doing the work, even on the days when you would rather do anything else, you’ll establish the habits you need to be healthy. That consistency and forward progress won’t only get you the results you want but it’ll ensure you KEEP those results.