Fail Bigger

I want you to fail.

Just wait a second. I know it sounds crazy so just hear me out. 

I want you to have those moments when you tell yourself you can’t do it, when you quit, when you get so frustrated you don’t know how you’ll do this again tomorrow. 

There’s power in those moments. 

Because failing is a frame of mind. 

I tell my clients all the time the phrase “I can’t do it” isn’t allowed in my class. I know you can do it, maybe not today but you will. 

I also know that failing gives you a baseline. It shows you where you’re starting from, and where you’re going to grow. It gives you a foundation. A launching pad for continued strength and transformation. 

It also shows you that you’re more resilient and more of a badass than what you may have previously thought. Because after the moment of failure, you’re going to keep showing up and keep putting in the work. 

I know you’ll succeed and your fitness goals will become your reality, your healthy changes will become your lifestyle, but you need a safe space to figure out your starting point.

From there you’ll see your growth and ultimately get your transformation. 

Whatcha Gonna Do?

I’m not insensitive. 

I just know this is an opportunity so it is what you make of it.

Being able to wake up ☀️, move your body, and create your own healthy lifestyle is a GIFT 🎁.

I never looked at being healthy in that light until I got hurt and the opportunity was taken from me. 

Now I know that even on my worst and unmotivated days, it’s still a chance to give to myself and take care of myself. That might mean taking things down a notch if it doesn’t work for me that day, or even going extra hard because I can. 

Either way, I don’t look at the choices I’m making as an inconvenience or an obstacle. I look at it as a chance to give to myself, to take care of myself when my time is valuable and my days are busy. 

I know when I have those opportunities, big or small, that I need to take advantage of them so I can serve the community around me in a bigger way. 

Instead of thinking of working out and being healthy as an obstacle or a struggle, find the part of it you love the most and focus on that especially during the times you don’t want to try. 

Find that positive aspect of your healthy choices and hone in on those. Put those choices and how much better you feel on repeat. Create the gift for yourself and then continue to give it to yourself. 

Winner of the Fitness Goal Award

The only one who’s going to make sure you achieve your fitness goals is YOU.

I know the one time you’re thinking you would actually ask for help, it won’t really do a whole lot. Even when you hire a coach, the work is still ultimately up to you.

The people I train who get the transformation they’re wanting, the one they crave so much they can taste it and the one they don’t tell anyone else about, are the ones who know that whatever happens is their doing.

They know that even with the support they have, the choices they make are ultimately their own and achieving their goals is ultimately up to them.

Want to know how they do it?

They show up.

☝️ it’s that simple. 

Not every workout 🏋️‍♀️ is going to be easy, not every workout 🏋️‍♀️ will be your best, and that’s ok 👍. Because in those no so awesome moments is where you truly build your strength and where you show yourself that you are WORTH achieving your goals.

What matters more is continuing to show up and to put in the effort even when the going gets tough or things don’t go as planned. That doesn’t mean it’s always going to be pretty but it does mean that you will progress because you’ll be consistent. 

My Pro Tip for establishing those consistent habits? Make appointments with yourself in your calendar like you would for the doctor or to get your haircut. Then don’t cancel. You wouldn’t cancel those other appointments so why would you cancel on yourself? Then keep doing that until showing up becomes second nature.

Grab Your Dumbbells!

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Healthy Living is Bigger than Changing Your Diet

I don’t subscribe to the healthy living programs that have you vacillating from one side of the pendulum to the other. There is nothing more frustrating 😤 than giving up every enjoyable aspect of life, getting this HUGE transformation and then totally losing it because the changes were too drastic.

That my friend, is the yo-yo of healthy living and I feel some aspects of that are worse than the lifestyle you currently have. Not only can it potentially mess with your body in irreversible ways, it also messes with your head. There is nothing a whole lot more defeating than working so hard to get this amazing transformation and not being able to hold on to it because the way you got it isn’t realistic for your daily life. 

I want a tailored program for you that teaches you the easy healthy habits you can have in your daily life, so you can still enjoy the life you work so hard for without feeling like you’re deprived of the things you love 💗.

It’s the harder change to make because it takes longer and I know you want the results NOW. It’s also the harder change to make because it’s going to challenge you to unpack why you make certain decisions so you can truly understand why you’ve gotten to where you are. But I know this change is more effective because I know once you make it, you won’t have to make any more changes. Ever again.

You’ll know why you make decisions about food and working out, and you’ll also know how to navigate around those reasonings so you can have the healthy life you want with the balance you also want.

Grab Your Dumbbells!

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Don't Cut Out the Things You Love

You are a sum of all your choices.

That’s really what healthy living boils down to, a series of choices. It’s those incremental choices that will eventually lead you to the healthy lifestyle you’re seeking.

This doesn’t mean you have to be perfect all the time. That’s not realistic. Neither is healthy living that requires you to cut out all the things you love. Healthy living needs to incorporate the things that you know if you gave them up, you would binge tf outta them once you had the chance to have them again.

Like wine. Or chocolate.

That’s why getting healthy, working out regularly, and eating well consistently is hard. Because it’s about balance just as much as it’s about learning why you’re making the decisions you’re making in regards to healthy choices. Then understanding how to have those things you love with moderation.

But how do you get healthy and not give up the things you love? Like pizza?

I encourage my clients to have what they want, I don’t adhere to cutting out every single treat you love or working out to the point where you feel like you’re going to break. Those paths, as my time training people has taught me, are not sustainable. 80% of the time, you need to be making the healthy choices even if that’s not the choice you want to make. It’s showing up for the workout when you would rather be doing anything else, and eating well when you would rather have take out. 

Then it’s you allowing yourself those treats in moderation. Over time, you’ll learn that you don’t actually need the WHOLE bag of chips, but just a bowl. 

So have your chocolate. Drink your wine boo and be ok with it because you know that you’re doing it in moderation. You give yourself those allowances so you don’t go overboard like a college kid at her first frat party. 

And know that with each one of those choices you’re creating balance and a strong foundation for a happy and healthy life. Also know that with every single choice, making those choices will become easier and more routine.

Make Discomfort Your Ally

The day you discover discomfort is your ally, your life will change. 

Working out sucks. Be honest. If working out was easy, or comfortable, everyone would do it. In reality, working out is NOT cute. The visceral effect of working out, that sweating, heart pounding, lungs burning feeling, is not ideal. At least not to most people. 

So now you’re in this tough catch-22 because you KNOW you need to workout. That’s how you’re going to reach your goal right? Working out and eating well. But then you have to get over what you know is going to be an uncomfortable and occasionally painful experience.

I would argue that you’ve been in uncomfortable situations before and gotten through it so there’s no reason why a little workout should scare you. Granted those past experiences might not have in a gym, but maybe they were at your work, with your family or with a friend. 

If you can get through those things, and do it well, you can get though the workout. Hell maybe that’s even a good catch-22 to get yourself in. Intentionally making yourself feel uncomfortable in a safe setting, seeing how you handle it so you can figure out how to handle it more effectively. Or just make the uncomfortable feeling not so foreign.

That’s what getting uncomfortable does to you. It makes you expand the limitations you’ve put on yourself by learning in a practical setting how strong you actually are and by doing so, you create change.

There's Never a Right Time

There will never be a right time. 

Before I get going, let me just say: I’m totally here for the selfcare movement. It’s abut time people caught up with what I’ve been doing since my injury. I knew if I didn’t take care of myself, I wouldn’t have the quality of life I wanted, and I had SO much life in front of me, that wasn’t something I was willing to sacrifice.

That being said, some of these selfcare gurus can GTFO. Cordially of course. But seriously. GTFO. I mean do they even have kids??? Because what they’re talking about with the chaos that is MY household, is I M P O S S I B L E.

I never realized how busy life could be until I had a kid. All of a sudden, my days were broken down into increments of time that accommodated her needs. Mix that in with working, managing a household and trying to get food on the table for dinner, and any time for me very quickly went out the door. Because I needed to make sure that everyone else was taken care of before I even considered taking care of myself. Like by the time everything is organized and somewhat under control, it’s already 10pm and time for bed.

So good luck trying to do anything that involves making sure you’re hitting your healthy living goals, right?

I mean why even bother to get started when your attention will inevitably get diverted every single day to something else? Reality is that there’s always going to be something pulling you in a different direction, diverting your attention, or taking up your time. There’s never a “good” time to push yourself, to get uncomfortable, to get healthy. 

So start now. That doesn’t mean you turn around tomorrow and start training for a marathon. Let’s be clear. Starting now needs to be something that’s accessible for you in YOUR life with YOUR schedule. For every single person as a result, starting now will look different.

Maybe it means planning what you’ll cook for dinner so you can plan out your grocery list instead of impulse buying and winging dinner when you walk into the store. Maybe it means asking your partner to take the kids for 30 minutes so you can grab a quick HIIT workout or go for a walk around your neighborhood. Maybe it means packing your lunch the night before for work, so you’re not scrambling at the last minute in the morning and either packing something unhealthy or giving up and going through a drive through.

Self care, putting your health first does need to start now. You deserve it. You give of yourself every single day to SO many people, you really do deserve to feel amazing and to be happy with how you look.

But self care doesn’t have to nor should it, be something that causes you stress. Self care, especially in terms of living healthy, can be small incremental changes over time that build on each other to create the life you want. Almost like tricking yourself into being healthy. One thing at a time, one day at a time, and while I know that’s a slower transition than what you want, it will give you the result you want along with the habits to maintain it.

What Do You Do When Your Workouts SUCK?

Girl I have some workouts that S U C K. Still.

Just because I’m in the fitness industry and train people daily doesn’t mean I don’t have times in my own workouts where I want to LITERALLY throw my towel across the room. Maybe I slept shitty, maybe I didn’t eat properly before, shoot maybe I’m near my cycle, or maybe a certain small human keeps interrupting me. 

I know I could let those days totally get me down, I could even stop the workout early if I wasn’t feeling it. Or just half ass my effort…

Those solutions don’t work for me though. 

Prior to my injury, I worked out on a regular basis. It was out of necessity. My role in the military dictated that I maintain a certain physical standard so working out and nutrition were priorities of mine. It created habits in me that have stayed with me even until today.

Working out after I recovered from my injury as well as after I had Grace SUCKED. I knew I had to do it to have the kind of quality of life I was seeking, and I had the habits as well as skill set in place to work out efficiently, but it was horrible. I didn’t feel strong, it took a lot of frustrating time to understand the capabilities of my body post all the surgeries, and it HURT. My body was in pain, it was inflamed, and while I listened to my limitations and did workouts that were appropriate for me, it still hurt.

I started doing two things when I worked out and I wasn’t feeling it to get myself through:

1. I used visualization. It helped clear my mind, it gave me something to focus on besides what I was doing, and it distracted me enough to get through the workout. What I visualize differs depending on my mood, and I usually go to whatever my mind naturally wanders towards. It’s either my end goal, like my ultimate goal for myself in my own fitness journey OR it’s the visualization of how far I’ve come. I see myself in a bed at my parents’ house unable to walk and I visualize the journey I’ve already gone through that’s gotten me to today.

2. I think of something positive and I put that shit on repeat. We tend to get so negative and critical when we’re working out. It’s the “we’re not enough” syndrome kicking in. Fuck that. I think about how I’ve made it through 100% of my bad days, so I got this or I think “you can do this” and I put that on replay in my mind until my workout is done.

It works for me, it doesn’t make the workout magically become easier but it gives me a clearer focus so I can get through what I’m doing. 

Then, and this is key, at the end of the workout, even if it’s the worst workout of all time and I’m so happy it’s over I’m not even enjoying the endorphin rush, I celebrate the workout. I celebrate the fact that I woke up, that my body can move and give me this gift, and that I GET to give this time to myself.

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Sustainable Change

I want your life to have balance and the changes you make to be sustainable. Have you thought about that? WTF is all of this for if the changes you make are not sustainable?

Are you so focused on the journey that lies ahead of you and what that end goal looks like, that you’re not thinking past the end goal?

There is no point to A N Y of the work that you’re doing if it’s not going to create a healthy lifestyle for you. Not a temporary change, but a permanent one. Don’t get me wrong, I get wanting that goal of fitting into your favorite pre-baby skinny jeans without having to hold your breath or lay on your back to zip them so badly that you can taste it. I get it because I was there too.

You can hold onto that goal with both hands and all your might. Let it give you determination and let it give you the will power to reach it.

While you do that, I’m going to hold onto the goal that the determination you feel and the goals that you hit will give you the tools you need to make that goal your new reality.

That way you have the tools you need not just to have sustainable change but also to make sure that the goal you’ve worked your ass off for doesn’t slip out of your hands once you get it.

Be Willing to Get Uncomfortable

You have to get uncomfortable.

I see this amazing transition with clients. At first, they dread class. I’ve had people tell me they’ve full on avoided taking my class because they knew how much I would challenge them, that they get nervous stomachs or clam hands before they come in. They’re nervous about the work, they’re nervous because they know I’m going to push them outside of their comfort zone, and they know it’s going to be hard.

But then class is over. They feel so accomplished, so strong and so capable that they come back. Thus, the pattern of dread and then accomplishment continues.

Just a little insight into my mind with this reoccurring process: I don’t care that my reputation as an instructor is that I’m tough. I know that I am, shit I put myself through the classes I provide to my clients before they even get those classes.

My singular goal is that people walk out of class feeling such a badass that they KNOW they can take non the whole world.

Not to go off on a huge ass tangent but I really do feel the way that you react when you’re working out, the way you handle that stress, very easily translates into how you handle stress in your daily life. So I want ALL of my people walking out feeling strong, fierce, kick ass and capable.

Back on track.

I want people to feel uncomfortable. I want them to get used to feeling uncomfortable.

Because here’s the thing: that comfort zone you’ve been living in hasn’t done shit for you. It’s not bringing about the change that you want to see. Being comfortable isn’t helping you drop those extra couple of LBS, it’s not helping you get back into those skinny jeans you haven’t worn since before the baby was born, and it sure AF isn’t helping you get back your energy so you can keep up with your kids.

It’s time to get uncomfortable.

If you want to see change, you HAVE to get uncomfortable. There really isn’t any choice. You have to step outside of the constructs you’ve grown accustomed to and do the thing that makes your breath catch in your throat. 

It’s that space, it’s those moments where change is made. 

My clients might not even realize it, but that’s why they crave that sense of uncertainty before they come in. They might not realize it, but on some level in their psyche they know that the dread they feel, the uncomfortable feeling that follows, and the ending sense of accomplishment is them changing. In every single way.