I Will Not Weigh My Food

Don’t ask me to weigh my food 🥘.

I’m kidding. But I will totally refuse.

I’m not a proponent of making super restrictive or insane dietary changes, unless medically necessary, when I coach someone because I know our relationship with food can be a tough one. 

We have this idea that in order to be “healthy”, we can’t have the things that we love. The occasional chips and salsa indulgence, a glass of wine with girlfriends, or some chocolate. We also think we have to calorically restrict ourselves to the point of deprivation.

The human body, and more importantly, the human mind is much more complicated than that. But the solution I want you to find is the harder one to obtain.

If you don’t have a healthy relationship with food you’re not going to get the transformation you want. All those things you restricted with your food will be for nothing because as soon as you stop, all the progress you made will totally stop.

I want to take the food you love 💕, the food your family loves and give you the transformation you want. 

Which means we have to examine your relationship with food as a whole, why you’re making the choices you’re making when it comes to what you get, and the appropriateness of those choices. It also means that at the end of it, you’ll be able to make choices about your food with  confidence, instead of beating yourself up for those choices.

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Whatcha Gonna Do?

I’m not insensitive. 

I just know this is an opportunity so it is what you make of it.

Being able to wake up ☀️, move your body, and create your own healthy lifestyle is a GIFT 🎁.

I never looked at being healthy in that light until I got hurt and the opportunity was taken from me. 

Now I know that even on my worst and unmotivated days, it’s still a chance to give to myself and take care of myself. That might mean taking things down a notch if it doesn’t work for me that day, or even going extra hard because I can. 

Either way, I don’t look at the choices I’m making as an inconvenience or an obstacle. I look at it as a chance to give to myself, to take care of myself when my time is valuable and my days are busy. 

I know when I have those opportunities, big or small, that I need to take advantage of them so I can serve the community around me in a bigger way. 

Instead of thinking of working out and being healthy as an obstacle or a struggle, find the part of it you love the most and focus on that especially during the times you don’t want to try. 

Find that positive aspect of your healthy choices and hone in on those. Put those choices and how much better you feel on repeat. Create the gift for yourself and then continue to give it to yourself. 

Be proud of your progress

Be proud of your progress. 

We have this habit of getting caught up with what the end goal will look like and anything less than that isn’t good enough. As a coach, seeing this line of thinking in action makes me sad. We let that negative narrative invade our thoughts and it impedes our progress because our best will never be good enough.

I have never seen people be so negative or so critical of themselves than when they are in my space. That talk has no place with me. That talk is the kind of talk we get rid of FAST when we work together. 

Being healthy, for me, is about the journey not the destination. Mostly because the destination continually moves. Every time I hit a goal, I re-evaluate and give myself another goal. So this journey to being healthy, having balance and getting strong is ever evolving. As it should right? Because I am ever evolving and growing.

The last thing you need when you’re actively trying to do what’s best for you so you can give to others is to criticize your effort. Workouts will never be perfect, days are going to get the best of you, eating healthy can be frustrating AF sometimes, and you’re going to fall off the wagon with it ALL. But that does not mean you should start talking shit about yourself. If you go down that road, it’s going to be even harder for you to reincorporate those healthy habits. You’re self sabotaging. Knock it off.

When that ever evolving aspect becomes your health journey, you have to focus on the progress you’ve made, not where you think you should be. Go and write down 10 things you’ve accomplished for yourself on this journey that you never thought possible. Oh I’m not kidding Boo. Go and do it. And refer back to that list, add to that list, and remind yourself that you’re doing more than most people will do all day, all week, all year.

Think back to that first day you took control or took back control of your health and how much you’ve accomplished since that day.

Don’t discount that hard work and effort. Celebrate it and look forward to all your next steps.

Don't Cut Out the Things You Love

You are a sum of all your choices.

That’s really what healthy living boils down to, a series of choices. It’s those incremental choices that will eventually lead you to the healthy lifestyle you’re seeking.

This doesn’t mean you have to be perfect all the time. That’s not realistic. Neither is healthy living that requires you to cut out all the things you love. Healthy living needs to incorporate the things that you know if you gave them up, you would binge tf outta them once you had the chance to have them again.

Like wine. Or chocolate.

That’s why getting healthy, working out regularly, and eating well consistently is hard. Because it’s about balance just as much as it’s about learning why you’re making the decisions you’re making in regards to healthy choices. Then understanding how to have those things you love with moderation.

But how do you get healthy and not give up the things you love? Like pizza?

I encourage my clients to have what they want, I don’t adhere to cutting out every single treat you love or working out to the point where you feel like you’re going to break. Those paths, as my time training people has taught me, are not sustainable. 80% of the time, you need to be making the healthy choices even if that’s not the choice you want to make. It’s showing up for the workout when you would rather be doing anything else, and eating well when you would rather have take out. 

Then it’s you allowing yourself those treats in moderation. Over time, you’ll learn that you don’t actually need the WHOLE bag of chips, but just a bowl. 

So have your chocolate. Drink your wine boo and be ok with it because you know that you’re doing it in moderation. You give yourself those allowances so you don’t go overboard like a college kid at her first frat party. 

And know that with each one of those choices you’re creating balance and a strong foundation for a happy and healthy life. Also know that with every single choice, making those choices will become easier and more routine.

We Don't Regress

I don’t care if you become stagnant or even plateau, but your ass better not go backwards. 

Life is going to get chaotic. That’s just a reality of adulting. Whether you work outside your home or not, between managing a household, pets, a family, or whatever it is that’s a priority to you, life can be crazy. The days pass by quickly and seem to be filled with a million things that NEED to get done but might not necessarily happen. 

I know exactly what happens to you when shit hits the fan and life seems crazier than normal. The first thing to go are your workouts. You just don’t have time right? You have this activity or that activity to get to, your kids need whatever they need from you, and frankly there’s just not enough hours in the day to get it all done. So bye bye fitness. You know what goes usually right after that? Your eating. I mean you’re not working out anyways so why worry about what your shoveling in your face? Plus you’re so busy that you don’t have time to even think about it. You’re more concerned with just having something as opposed to nothing at all. 

That’s all backwards motion to me. Regression at its finest. And no one is immune from it. But we have to have better coping mechanisms than that so when you are at the point where you can get consistent in your routine again, you don’t feel like you’ve been set back so far that there’s no catching up so there’s no point in TRYING to catch up. 

Don’t throw all your hard work out the window. When life gets crazy, we have to learn how to adapt and overcome. Have a plan for your week so you don’t get caught up in the chaos. Know the days that would work for you to get a workout in. Maybe that means you don’t get your workout one day, or maybe it means the workout is modified, but compensate for that in other ways. Be mindful of what you’re eating, make the effort to prep healthy snacks so you’re not grabbing for whatever is available and be intentional with your water intake. Maybe even cut out the alcohol on the days you know you’re not going to be working out. 

It doesn’t have to be perfect, this is all a journey and walking this journey means making the necessary adjustments to ensure you can still be making progress towards your goals. 

At the end of the day, don’t give up. Don’t quit on yourself and don’t go backwards. Remind yourself that your goals are still important and still deserved, even if the day isn’t perfect. 

Create Your Foundation

The strength you find today creates your foundation for tomorrow. 

We get into this horrible and self sabotaging place of comparing when we start our fitness journey. Because our fitness journey starts well before we put on the spandex and pick up a weight. Our fitness journey starts with us looking at the people around us, be it on social media or in person, and comparing how we look to how THEY look. You know who I’m talking about…it’s the woman who’s on kid #4, but kid #4 is only a month old and she already has a 6 pack. Mind you, you’re only on kid #1 and all you see when you look in the mirror is…fluff…

Whether or not we realize it, we take that negative energy into our workouts and it sabotages the hell out of our progress. What we want is the instantaneous result, the immediate feeling of being happy in the clothes we wear and being able to finally rid ourselves of the obligatory “mom” sweater. We’ve sat in this uncomfortable skin for far too long so by the time we’re doing something to get it gone, we want it gone NOW. Or yesterday. Whichever.

But that discounts the foundation that you’re building. That negative mindset is so much more likely to impede your progress because you’re always going to feel like it’s not enough. It’s not enough resistance, it’s not a high enough speed on the treadmill, it’s not enough weight on the bar…it’s not a fast enough result.

Keep something in mind for me when you find yourself in this place of frustration that really stems from guilt that things have gotten this far and that you feel this miserable: you didn’t get to the place where you felt like change was a necessary component of life overnight, and transformation that is done in a healthy and sustainable way, also doesn’t happen overnight.

Every single day in your journey towards your health and fitness goals is a building block from where you were yesterday. Enjoy the journey. Even if it’s not evident to you, single day you’re getting stronger, and more importantly, you’re putting a foundation in place of habits that will sustain your health and your strength while facilitating the transformation you’re seeking.

The process of change, albeit annoying AF and rip your hair out frustrating at times, is also beautiful. What an amazing thing to demonstrate to yourself daily that you are deserving of those goals and that you’re willing to do what it takes to reach those goals. Maybe you’re not there yet, maybe it’s your first day or you haven’t even started, but I KNOW you’ll get those goals and I’ll be cheering you along the whole way.

There's Never a Right Time

There will never be a right time. 

Before I get going, let me just say: I’m totally here for the selfcare movement. It’s abut time people caught up with what I’ve been doing since my injury. I knew if I didn’t take care of myself, I wouldn’t have the quality of life I wanted, and I had SO much life in front of me, that wasn’t something I was willing to sacrifice.

That being said, some of these selfcare gurus can GTFO. Cordially of course. But seriously. GTFO. I mean do they even have kids??? Because what they’re talking about with the chaos that is MY household, is I M P O S S I B L E.

I never realized how busy life could be until I had a kid. All of a sudden, my days were broken down into increments of time that accommodated her needs. Mix that in with working, managing a household and trying to get food on the table for dinner, and any time for me very quickly went out the door. Because I needed to make sure that everyone else was taken care of before I even considered taking care of myself. Like by the time everything is organized and somewhat under control, it’s already 10pm and time for bed.

So good luck trying to do anything that involves making sure you’re hitting your healthy living goals, right?

I mean why even bother to get started when your attention will inevitably get diverted every single day to something else? Reality is that there’s always going to be something pulling you in a different direction, diverting your attention, or taking up your time. There’s never a “good” time to push yourself, to get uncomfortable, to get healthy. 

So start now. That doesn’t mean you turn around tomorrow and start training for a marathon. Let’s be clear. Starting now needs to be something that’s accessible for you in YOUR life with YOUR schedule. For every single person as a result, starting now will look different.

Maybe it means planning what you’ll cook for dinner so you can plan out your grocery list instead of impulse buying and winging dinner when you walk into the store. Maybe it means asking your partner to take the kids for 30 minutes so you can grab a quick HIIT workout or go for a walk around your neighborhood. Maybe it means packing your lunch the night before for work, so you’re not scrambling at the last minute in the morning and either packing something unhealthy or giving up and going through a drive through.

Self care, putting your health first does need to start now. You deserve it. You give of yourself every single day to SO many people, you really do deserve to feel amazing and to be happy with how you look.

But self care doesn’t have to nor should it, be something that causes you stress. Self care, especially in terms of living healthy, can be small incremental changes over time that build on each other to create the life you want. Almost like tricking yourself into being healthy. One thing at a time, one day at a time, and while I know that’s a slower transition than what you want, it will give you the result you want along with the habits to maintain it.

What Do You Do When Your Workouts SUCK?

Girl I have some workouts that S U C K. Still.

Just because I’m in the fitness industry and train people daily doesn’t mean I don’t have times in my own workouts where I want to LITERALLY throw my towel across the room. Maybe I slept shitty, maybe I didn’t eat properly before, shoot maybe I’m near my cycle, or maybe a certain small human keeps interrupting me. 

I know I could let those days totally get me down, I could even stop the workout early if I wasn’t feeling it. Or just half ass my effort…

Those solutions don’t work for me though. 

Prior to my injury, I worked out on a regular basis. It was out of necessity. My role in the military dictated that I maintain a certain physical standard so working out and nutrition were priorities of mine. It created habits in me that have stayed with me even until today.

Working out after I recovered from my injury as well as after I had Grace SUCKED. I knew I had to do it to have the kind of quality of life I was seeking, and I had the habits as well as skill set in place to work out efficiently, but it was horrible. I didn’t feel strong, it took a lot of frustrating time to understand the capabilities of my body post all the surgeries, and it HURT. My body was in pain, it was inflamed, and while I listened to my limitations and did workouts that were appropriate for me, it still hurt.

I started doing two things when I worked out and I wasn’t feeling it to get myself through:

1. I used visualization. It helped clear my mind, it gave me something to focus on besides what I was doing, and it distracted me enough to get through the workout. What I visualize differs depending on my mood, and I usually go to whatever my mind naturally wanders towards. It’s either my end goal, like my ultimate goal for myself in my own fitness journey OR it’s the visualization of how far I’ve come. I see myself in a bed at my parents’ house unable to walk and I visualize the journey I’ve already gone through that’s gotten me to today.

2. I think of something positive and I put that shit on repeat. We tend to get so negative and critical when we’re working out. It’s the “we’re not enough” syndrome kicking in. Fuck that. I think about how I’ve made it through 100% of my bad days, so I got this or I think “you can do this” and I put that on replay in my mind until my workout is done.

It works for me, it doesn’t make the workout magically become easier but it gives me a clearer focus so I can get through what I’m doing. 

Then, and this is key, at the end of the workout, even if it’s the worst workout of all time and I’m so happy it’s over I’m not even enjoying the endorphin rush, I celebrate the workout. I celebrate the fact that I woke up, that my body can move and give me this gift, and that I GET to give this time to myself.

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Sustainable Change

I want your life to have balance and the changes you make to be sustainable. Have you thought about that? WTF is all of this for if the changes you make are not sustainable?

Are you so focused on the journey that lies ahead of you and what that end goal looks like, that you’re not thinking past the end goal?

There is no point to A N Y of the work that you’re doing if it’s not going to create a healthy lifestyle for you. Not a temporary change, but a permanent one. Don’t get me wrong, I get wanting that goal of fitting into your favorite pre-baby skinny jeans without having to hold your breath or lay on your back to zip them so badly that you can taste it. I get it because I was there too.

You can hold onto that goal with both hands and all your might. Let it give you determination and let it give you the will power to reach it.

While you do that, I’m going to hold onto the goal that the determination you feel and the goals that you hit will give you the tools you need to make that goal your new reality.

That way you have the tools you need not just to have sustainable change but also to make sure that the goal you’ve worked your ass off for doesn’t slip out of your hands once you get it.

You Have to Try

If you think you can put in the minimum effort and get the maximum results, you’re wrong. 

When I was at the beginning of my weight loss journey (both after my injury as well as after I had grace), there was nothing I wanted more than to be able to be lazy af and have the weight just fall off of me. I didn’t even want a magic pill. I just didn’t want to have to TRY to lose weight. I was so tired, my digestion was such a mess, my brain felt like I was in a constant haze and the prospect of having to try was overwhelming and daunting. In the beginning, I gave the bare minimum as far as effort went. 

But the bare minimum doesn’t do shit. I was doing the bare minimum, and I saw NO change. Obviously right? Like come on Captain Obvious, of course nothing happened. I worked conveniently within my comfort bubble hoping against all hope that my transformation would be epic and nothing happened. 

It wasn’t surprising to me at all either. I know from all my experience in the fitness industry, my education as well as just my own experience that living within the confines of your comfort will not produce the change you want to see. Because if being comfortable produced change, it would have already. You would be exactly where you wanted to be but that hasn’t happened. 

I also know that the prospect of trying harder when you feel like shit is normally met with a hard pass. You’re not going to try harder, expand your comfort zone, or step out of your bubble when getting out of bed in the morning feels like running a marathon or the thought of trying something new gives you hives. 

Sustainable healthy living though isn’t often achieved by taking a huge leap. Sure some people are totally capable and willing (as well as mentally ready) to catapult themselves off that cliff. Most of us aren’t. So don’t jump completely out of your comfort zone. Take like a step out. Keep one foot firmly planted where you’re at, that cozy spot, and take the other foot out. Test the waters so to speak. Prove to yourself that you can be successful and then slowly start adding in other things. Over time and before you even realize it, you’ll have the lifestyle you used to dream about on those mornings you dreaded getting out of bed.