Self Care: That Amazingly Awkward Adventure
Geez self love and self care feel awkward and icky at first, am I right?
I could go on like the rant of all rants with this one…about how women are maternal creatures and our society as well as evolution have dictated that we be the nurturers to all the members of our tribe. Leaving little to no time for ourselves.
But that’s a pretty high soap box I feel like I should stay off of right now.
Regardless of how you got here, you’re here. The details don’t matter. You have officially entered the point of life where everyone is dressed and fed before you, where everyone has new clothes except you, where everyone’s needs are met before your own.
While this is admirable from the standpoint of multi-tasking as only a woman can, this is not a badge of honor. At least not for me.
I know that when I attempt to serve my community around me, family included, before I serve myself, my effort is lacking. It doesn’t mean that I’m selfish, it doesn’t mean that every second of every single day is focused on me doing whatever the fuck I want. Far from it. There are many a day when life is so crazy that my selfcare is whittled down to next to nil. But it still happens. It’s always been a priority and it will always be a priority.
I don’t know if it was my injury and knowing how important it would be to the quality and longevity of my life to take care of myself, maybe it was other things that happened to me throughout my life. I know that I matter.
I remember when I was pregnant, new moms telling me they wouldn’t even shower because everyone else’s needs took priority over a simple thing like a shower. I remember distinctly thinking well fuck that. I made it a priority to shower every single day when I first had Grace and it happened. Because the people around me knew it mattered to me to keep up with my basic needs and they supported me.
That continued as Grace grew with me wanting to lose weight, and during the time when I was searching for a solution to pull myself out of MomFog. It continued for me even when I had Mom guilt about Grace being in daycare while I worked and then in daycare again while I worked out. But I reminded myself that I mattered, that my goals mattered and that ultimately what I was doing was setting an example for everyone around me about what it means to make healthy living a priority.
I realize though I’m in like the 1% with this one. Most people are just starting to come around to the idea of selfcare being not just acceptable but encouraged. I love this movement of self love. I love this idea that I am unique, I am one of one and the love I show myself will translate into the love I show to the people around me.
It’s not icky. It feels that way at first. It feels awkward AF at first to stand up for what you want and what your goals when it comes to living a healthy life are, that pivot is a weird one especially if it’s a new one.
But just like anything else, it’s a muscle you exercise and the more you consistently do it, the more you’ll consistently do it and the less you feel badly about it.
My encouragement and hope for you is that you can share with the people around you what goals you’ve set for yourself and how they can support you to get there. Even if support is just not making you feel badly about making those goals a priority.
Think about the longevity and quality of life you want to have. Think about where you want to be and how you want to feel in terms of health in 5 years, 10 years, when you retire. Then think about the consistent commitment it’s going to take for you to get there. i know you can do it.
