My Supermodel Days Are Over

I’ll never look like that.

That ☝️ thought ever cross your mind? It sure has crossed mine. More times than I would care to admit. Welcome to the age of social media right? Where every mom that pops into your search feed looks perfect, put together, and like she’s never stressed. Ever. 

Like OMG how does she have 6 kids under the age of 10, 6 pack abs, AND she cooks every single freaking meal from scratch??

Ok so how do I look like that AND actually sleep through the night? Or is that just a total unicorn?

It’s not fun. Especially after you’ve had a baby, and now you’re working while trying to juggle this whole parenting thing AND have balance in your own life. Good luck. I guess those flat abs were a thing of the past?

You can go deep down a rabbit hole of despair when these thoughts begin to invade your mind. In like the worst way possible because the next thing you know, you’re depressed AF and you’re giving up on every single goal you’ve set for yourself. Because why try when you’re never going to actually get to your goal?

Don’t get me wrong, there’s so much power in embracing your own strength and beauty, but it takes a hot second. Arguably the hardest aspect of this journey is in embracing that your journey is yours alone and you can’t compare what you’re doing to what someone else is doing. I remind myself of this ALL THE TIME. I also remind myself that life presented on social media is often not a realistic reflection of what is happening in that person’s real life.

Here’s my Pro Tip when that negativity starts creeping in:

• Sit your ass down and write down 10 amazing things you’ve accomplished. It’s just 10 friend, and it’s not as hard as you think. If you want the help, if you’re that hung up, I’ll help you. Because I see you and I see your resiliency, your strength, and every single thing you’ve accomplished.

When you find yourself letting that negativity creep in again, because it will, remind yourself of at least one of those things. Then put your phone down and get back to work.

Want to lose weight? Live your life in moderation.

Before I even go on this rant let me say this: I’m not a proponent of cutting out any one thing, be it food or anything else, unless there’s a medical necessity as dictated by your doctor to do so.

There are so many fads out there when it comes to losing weight or getting into shape. As a member of the fitness industry, I hear about all these hot new trends all the time. Everything from people doing Pilates in super heated rooms, to taking pills to drop weight, I swear I’ve heard it all.

It makes me sad. I realize we’re part of the microwave generation and we want our solutions in 30 seconds or less, but what I see is my community making potentially detrimental decisions towards their health. 

Don’t get me wrong, I know that it’s frustrating because you want to lose the weight and see the change NOW. So I know it’s super enticing when you see a “solution” that could give you want you want super fast.

But here’s me being real with you: you didn’t become unhealthy overnight. It was numerous decisions over time that got you there. So if you want to create actual change for yourself, a quick fix isn’t going to do it.

You’re going to have to put in the work and figure out what healthy living from a place of moderation looks like for you. 

You’re going to have to get some freaking willpower and exercise that willpower so that your decisions can go from predominantly harmful to predominately more productive.

It means seeing the cookies and knowing that you only need one, stopping after one and feeling good about it.

Don’t settle for the quick fix when you know it’ll just be another failed diet.

Increase the healthy decisions you’re making until they outweigh the unhealthy ones and exercise your willpower to create a life of moderation for yourself.

5 Hacks for Getting Your Pre-Baby Body Back

Thank God when I first had Grace everyone was so focused on the baby that no one noticed the jiggle in my belly. While I know you love your baby and you’re so happy, I also know you want that jelly belly gone. 

Here’s what I did to get my body back after I had Grace: 

1. Wait: I waited on my doctor. I don’t care what kind of delivery you had, how smoothly (or maybe not) that delivery goes, taking any kind of steps towards a major transformation in your body should not be done until you have clearance from a doctor. You need to know that whole your body feels differently than before, that it is recovered enough for you to be safe in the actions you’re taking towards that transformation. I’m not apologetic to this and yes I do have every intention of sounding like a hard ass. This is a non-negotiable for everyone who works with me. Not only because you won’t see the kind of transformation you want if you’re body isn’t healed, but you also do NOT want to put your well-being at risk to get said transformation. I know you’re ready to get going NOW but the risk isn’t worth the reward. So don’t take it. Wait.

2. Nutrition: Your food has to be in check. Just like it should be for anyone who’s trying to live a healthy lifestyle. Not only will eating healthy give you the energy you need to keep up with your family, it’s going to help support you losing that baby weight and getting your body back to where you’re loving it again. This does NOT mean diet. No new mom (especially if you’re breastfeeding) should be concerned with caloric restrictions. Eat the things you know are good for you, focus on lean meats, fruits and veggies, healthy fats, avoid all the processed foods and sugars.

3. Workout: I know it might be the last thing you want to do, especially when a new baby is running you ragged but you have to workout if you want your body to lose the jiggle. I know for a lot of women who are post part, this means cardio like crazy and while that’s not discouraged, I would encourage you to listen to your body. If you had a crazy all nighter with the baby, you’re exhausted but you still want to move and do SOMETHING, slow it down. Do some yoga or resistance training. Save those cardio days for the days when you have a ton of energy, or when the baby didn’t decide to party through the night like a college student. Regardless of what you’re doing, losing weight means burning calories, so anything you decide to do is a step in the right direction. That increased heart rate and blood flow is also going to give you a nice little endorphin rush, giving you more energy to keep up with your new life.

4. Get Your Routine: Take a long hard look at your schedule and figure out for that moment what will work for you when it comes to selfcare and then be ready to change it because I guarantee as soon as you get into a routine, that cute little baby is going to switch things up on you. Maybe you have time for a 10 minute workout right now, maybe you have time in the morning before the baby gets up to work out, really it doesn’t matter as long as it works with your schedule. Then make sure you have a back up plan. Because all good plans right? When you have that ideal workout planned in your mind, something will probably go to shit and it won’t happen. So have your ideal selfcare, your ideal workout planned, and then have the back ups that you can do in case your original doesn’t work. This can also mean asking for help, for someone to watch that adorable bundle so you can hit the gym or asking for someone to bring you food so you don’t find yourself shoving a fast food burger into your mouth at midnight.

5. Be Patient: I know that’s not what you want to hear but it’s the truth. Your body has been through a lot and it’s not just from the delivery. It’s also changed tremendously through the course of the pregnancy as a whole, and while that science of hormones, anatomical changes and stuff is super cool, the take away is that those changes didn’t happen instantaneously, so your body is not going back that fast either. Breathe. Relish in the victories of learning how to balance your new life while still being an active individual, and know that you will get there. As long as you don’t quit.

No Time to Cook? My Top 5 Meal Planning Hacks

I never knew I could cram so many freaking activities into one day. I really didn’t but this adulting thing has taken my productivity level (at least most days) up a total notch. It’s crazy. And exhausting. And overwhelming some days if I’m being totally honest. 

I don’t think it matters if you’re a parent or not, the days are busy. Most of the time I don’t even know where the day has gone and by the time my head hits my pillow, I’m out. 

One thing I have noticed though is that when life hits this level of chaos, we sacrifice the things that take effort for things of convenience. Like cooking. We’re so quick to say oh well whatever, I’ll eat better tomorrow but right now I’m exhausted so I’m hitting the fast food line because the prospect of figuring out what’s for dinner, getting the ingredients and then actually cooking is sending my already fried brain into a fucking tizzy. 

The crappy adverse to this though is that if you’re trying to lose weight, if you’re trying to feel better about how you’re looking or just feel better in general, sacrificing your healthy eating for convenience is not going to do you any long term good.

You have to plan it into your life. There’s no easy way around it. If being healthy matters to you, if you’re over the muffin top, if you’re over living in a haze of life, you have to put in the effort. 

Here are 5 things I do that help me stay on track without leaving me feeling overwhelmed about making the decisions I know are good for me:

1. I plan my meals. It doesn’t matter what day you decide to do this, and normally I do it at night while watching Animal Kingdom, but it does mean sitting down and figuring out what’s for dinner. Use the smartphone notes app, write down what you’re going to be having for dinner in the upcoming week and the corresponding ingredients you need to buy from the store. That way you know what you need to buy, you know what you’re going to eat and you don’t have to second guess it. I never plan what I’ll make on what day, but you can do that if it makes things easier on your brain. I usually use websites to find recipes (like www.ahealthfullife.org) or Pinterest. I also like www.pinchofyum.com and www.damndelicious.net.

2. I plan my snacks. Nothing is worse than getting into the kitchen and staring into your fridge because you need a snack but everything requires some level of prep and you’re not feeling it. It doesn’t mean the snacks have to be these complicated endeavors, but it does mean putting some thought into it. Put the ingredients for snacks on your grocery list as well as what snacks sound good for the week. It takes the thought out of it when you’re running from work to activities for the kids and you know you’re getting good options.

3. I prep as much as I can before the week gets going. Usually this happens on a Sunday evening while I’m cooking dinner. For me this looks like taking my snack stuff and throwing it into individual baggies or Tupperware containers so it’s easy to grab and go. It also means prepping whatever meat and veggies I can for dinner so it’s less work when it comes to cooking actual dinner.

4. The morning or afternoon of, I’ll figure out what specific recipe I want for dinner that night and prep a little more. Maybe this means throwing everything into a crockpot and forgetting about it. Maybe it means throwing everything onto it’s single pan and covering it with tinfoil, so all I have to do is toss it in the oven when I get home. Again the idea is to take the stress out of it, so if you can take another step out of the process you might as well. It could even mean making my side salad which I always do on the days I know I’m working late. That way, I’m not spending 30 minutes prepping salad stuff when it’s already late and tired. It’s ready to go and I’m ready to eat and the timing is perfect.

5. I save the complicated recipes for when I have more time. I love to cook. It’s selfcare for me. I love being in my kitchen. But I know that’s not always realistic, so the recipes that I know are going to take more time or have more steps, whatever it might be, I save for a day when I know I’ll have the time to do it. It lets me stay creative with my cooking, lets me continue to enjoy cooking and doesn’t leave me feeling stressed because I’m trying to do this insane recipe after a long day of work.

My Go To Dinner Recipes When I’m Exhausted and Don’t Feel Like Cooking

Every single parent out there can relate to this one. I know it. It doesn’t matter if you work or if you’re a stay at home parent, there are days that just fucking own you. You’re like counting down the hours until you can lay down because you miss your bed so much and the day has just been all the things. Whatever those things are right? Chaotic, frustrating, busy, it doesn’t even matter. We’ve all been there. 

Those are the days when the prospect of cooking is daunting af. Like what fast food place can I drive through the fastest, that’s the most efficient right now? Because cooking is testing my bandwidth for life. 

Don’t get me wrong, we’re all entitled to those breaks from cooking. But the thing with having a healthy lifestyle, getting back to the point where you’re not frustrated with your weight and where you feel like you have balance means that going through the drive thru at the fast food place can’t be your go to anymore. 

I’m not sorry to say that and I know it pisses some of you off. But if you want to see change, you have to be making choices that are in accordance with said change. And I know YOU know the fast food option isn’t in accordance with the change you want to see. 

It’s these days when it’s imperative for you to fall back on those tools in your toolbox that will help support the change you’re trying to make. Fall back on those tools, take the stress out of it, take the thinking out of it and know that you’re still making a good choice for yourself. 

That’s why I’m putting all these downloadable things together for you. So on the days when the overwhelm feels like it’s going to take over your soul, you can fall back on these tools and know that you’re not losing any of your progress. It’s one less thing to think about, it’s one less thing to worry about and hopefully it gives you a little space in your day for you to take care of yourself. 

How To Workout When You're Tired AF and Totally Unfocused

I got to that point in my post partum journey where I literally couldn’t find pants that fit comfortably. It was the most discouraging feeling in the world. 

I knew I needed to workout but the prospect of moving my body as a new mama to a kid who apparently hated sleep exhausted me even more than I was already exhausted. It was a daunting prospect.

But here’s the thing: as long as you’re moving your body, and increasing your heart rate you’re going to burn calories. So on the days when you’re tired af, don’t focus on WHAT you’re doing, focus on just DOING.

Here’s my pro tip for how to workout when you’re exhausted:

Listen to your body. It’s really that simple. Be kind to yourself. Our bodies go through such a tremendous amount of change when we’re growing our families. We tend to forget that this change happens LONG before the baby actually shows up in our arms.

Don’t worry I won’t get all science nerd on ya, but rest assured between physical and hormonal changes that occur while you’re pregnant, your body has been through the ringer before you even go into labor.

Then regardless of whether or not your labor goes “smoothly” (OMG biggest laugh ever…smooth labor…I mean a watermelon coming out of THAT is definitely something you’re going to feel) you’ve still experienced a trauma. While it is a beautiful, transformative, life creating experience, it is still a trauma. And even though our bodies were designed to be able to create, carry and deliver life, it’s still a process with its own hormonal releases and physical changes. 

And THEN you start breastfeeding which is a whole other game of hormonal and physical changes.

Here’s my point to this long winded reflection down memory lane. Your body has gone through a lot and if you’re still relatively early in your post partum journey, your body is still going through a lot. Not to mention that you’re attempting to teach a small human how to sleep, eat and all of those things. 

I think of all those things, I think back to when I experienced all those things (with a colicky baby) and I was tired AS FUCK. I’ve never been that tired before, not even when I was in the Army did I EVER FEEL THAT TIRED. Bone sucking, mentally ass kicking exhaustion. It’s the kind of tired that you can’t even explain to another human. It’s that unrelatable.

So I can imagine that the prospect of working out makes you want to kick people in the shins. Conversely you feel like you have to because you’re just so sick of seeing that flab that makes you look like you’re in the not so cute stages of pregnancy (when it looked like you just ate too much) so you feel like you have to workout. Talk about a shitty catch-22.

Listen to your body. Be patient. Be kind. Know that these changes that happened in your body took almost a full year to occur so give yourself TIME to heal and TIME to get back to a healthy state. Focus on the things you can control. Like eating healthy food.

When you go to workout, do the workouts that sound the most appealing in that second of time. I always had a workout and a contingency plan. The reason being two fold: first I could have options if I was so tired I couldn’t see straight AND I needed a back up in case things around me went to shit.

I always had the hardcore, super intense workout. This was normally something HIIT, or longer endurance workouts that I knew would kick my ass. Then my back up was always the gentler option. Yoga, mat pilates, resistance training, stretch days, things that were kinder to my body.

On days when I needed to, I did the gentler workouts and celebrated the fact that I could still move my body and on the days when Grace wasn’t partying like an out of control rockstar, I did the more intense workouts. On days that went so amazingly well I had to pinch myself, I did both (those days were rare in my house).

Regardless, I was doing the work and what mattered more is that I was doing the work consistently. I could focus because the workout was what I needed, I felt better after, and I knew that I was still on my way back to feeling like myself again.

Do You Love Yourself?

I was talking to a friend recently who didn’t know that much about my history. She didn’t know about my foot, or the litany of other injuries I had, and when I started delving into things she said “damn girl, you’ve got a lot of stuff wrong with you, how did you get to that point?” 

I could go through the specific exercises that caused injury, you know the practicality of it, like what I was doing at the time that caused the injury. But I feel like that would take too long. Because here’s the thing: how I did all the things doesn’t really matter, all of my major injuries all happened in succession in a few years directly following my foot and there was an undercurrent of commonality amongst all of them. I didn’t love myself.

That’s a really hard thing for me to right. I know I didn’t though. I thought I could just push my body to the point of injury because I had already been through worse, so nothing else could be as bad right? It didn’t matter that I was young and had my whole life ahead of me (and totally wasn’t thinking about how chronic pain would look as a longevity issue). I didn’t love myself enough to be compassionate to myself. 

When I coach people, I notice the same thing. We are more often than not cruel to ourselves. We very rarely show ourselves the love that we need in order to experience the growth we’re seeking. I know there’s a lot of contributing factors to mindsets like this, I know because I know what’s contributed in my life to my own mindset and I know now how important it is to do the work to shut that inner critic up.

It’s not an overnight process either. You have to first recognize the negative things that are even coming through in your thought process before you can begin the process of changing anything. Once you recognize what those thoughts tend to be, you have to do your due diligence to replace those negative thoughts with something more positive, and then you have to KEEP DOING IT. Which is easier than it sounds.

Because at first, you’re going to go back to the negative thoughts quickly and you might not even find anything positive to say to yourself because the negative thoughts are such an easy fall back. It’s muscle memory, your brain as a muscle is geared towards a certain line of thought and if you are used to telling yourself how much you suck or some variation of that, then that’s where your mind is going to go.

You have to keep at it. You have to keep shoving those positive thoughts into your conscious train of thought until you think you’re going to explode into rainbows and sunshine. And then you do it again, you do it more, you just keep at it.

Now when I exercise the positive thoughts are like second nature to me. Whenever something gets hard, whenever I want to quit, I have certain things I instantly go to in my head to push through whatever I’m doing. 

If you’re like me, you’re probably thinking well dang I have nothing positive to tell myself. Which I get because if you’ve never done this before it is super weird, we’re not accustomed to celebrating our victories.

The easiest way that I got into the groove of celebrating my achievements was by writing them down. Seriously. I sat down with my journal and I wrote down 100 things I have achieved throughout my life. From the little things like learning how to French braid my hair, to the big things like scholarships, graduating college, learning how to drive.

Celebrate all your victories and relish in the fact that you are totally unique. One of one. Then the next time you’re working towards your goals in a workout or in the board room, you’ll find how much easier it is to show yourself the love you deserve.

I Gotta Check My Ego

I’ve been thinking a whole lot lately about ego. I mean obviously if you read the last blog post about doing what you need verses what you want, ego goes pretty strongly with that right? Because doing what your body needs might mean putting your ego aside. It might also mean actively stopping the comparison game that I know we all play when it comes to getting healthy. I get it, I share these experiences I have and give these opinions because I’ve been there.

Being in the fitness industry, ego can get in the way so easily and so quickly as can the comparison disease. There’s this constant drive to look amazing, be rocking ALL the muscles, be able to pull off all the tight clothes, be stronger or faster or leaner than the person next to you. Really all that leads to is this dissociative state of reality.

Your ego becomes your inner bully constantly trying to push you to where it thinks you should be instead of embracing the journey you’re currently on.

Case in point: when I was cleared by my doctor post delivery to start practicing Pilates again, I went into the studio, by myself just to see where my body was at. I remember trying to do a roll up (if you don’t know, it’s an ab exercise) and I could NOT DO IT. AT ALL. Instead of taking a deep breath and giving myself credit for even being in such an amazing state of health that my doctor COULD clear me 4 weeks post c-section for exercise, I thought “fuck I’m gonna have to find another job.” No joke. I had NO sympathy for myself. My ego was the sole operator, telling me that I needed to be in a certain place, to be able to perform a certain way when I was only a month post partum, not to mention post major abdominal surgery.

You know what I figured out though? I didn’t need to be ashamed at where I was on my journey because I wasn’t alone. In fact, the women I trained loved me sharing my journey back to my “Pilates shape” because it was more relatable to them than the women who just seem to bounce back post baby with zero issues whatsoever.

That struggle is what binds us because it draws commonalities and also shows us what we’re capable of accomplishing. While that potential for accomplishment can be completely limitless, we have to check our ego in order to make it happen. That ego, that internal bully is going to be the first thing to give you a hard time whenever you try to make a positive change for yourself. Like that saying “you are your own toughest critic”, that ego gets in the way of progress for whatever reason, and ultimately your end goals that are completely attainable end up suffering.

I know you can do it because I’ve done it too and I know how much internal grit it takes to ignore that critic, that bully, that mean girl that always wants to knock you down a peg.

So now whenever that internal bully comes up in my head and starts telling me all my failings, not only do I tell her to sit down and shut up, but I also remind myself of 10 of my accomplishments. Small ones, big ones, it really doesn’t matter. I put where I think I should be aside and embrace where I’m at, embrace that I’m on a journey and it’s only going to get better from here.

Your World Totally Changed, Now What?

Before I became a Mom, I always tried to be that friend who was super understanding to the people around me with kids. I obviously knew on some level that kids took over every single aspect of your life, that more often than not their needs surpassed your own, and I tried really hard to be cognizant of that, but I felt like this whole idea of a “Mom Club” was stupid.

Why should there be any difference between them and me? Just because they had kids already and I didn’t have a family yet. I was obviously understanding to their needs as well as to what their kids needed. I knew my life would change when I had kids, I would talk about the need to be flexible all the time, the unknown of what my life would become all the time.

Holy shit girl was I totally off. Like beyond completely and totally just freaking wrong on every single level.

I didn’t understand my wrongness until I had Grace and all of a sudden it was like ya no wonder no one told me anything because there is literally NO way anyone could understand this level of change unless they went through it themselves. I think that’s why moms with screaming kids at Target give the silent nod of solidarity. Because we get it and we don’t truly have the words to describe it to anyone else.

And girl I would get SO frustrated in the beginning. I would want my day to go a certain way and then it wouldn’t happen for whatever reason, and it would drive me crazy. All that flexibility I talked about before that I knew I needed to have was non-existent. It always seemed to happen in relation to my workouts, that I would want to do a certain workout and for whatever reason, it would never happen. And the reasons my friend, were plentiful, most of which I don’t remember now.

I wish I could say that I found a solution overnight and everything was totally ok. That wasn’t the case for me. I spent a long time being frustrated, a lot of days not getting the workout in that I wanted, and a lot of days wondering when things would go back to “normal”.

So I embarked on this journey of trial and error. I needed to figure out what would work and I wanted to have a plan because that’s just in my nature. I tried to workout when Grace was awake (you can read previous blog posts to see how that went), I tried to go to gyms that had daycare, I tried to workout after Grace went to bed or when she was napping. The one thing I learned almost immediately was that every single day was going to be different.

After a ton of trial and error, I learned that my plans needed plans. Seriously though. Oh and I needed to HAVE a plan because trying to wing my workouts wasn’t working with the kind of sleep deprivation every new mom operates under.

Eventually I found that what worked for me was having a contingency plan. Like the plan of the workout I would ideally want to do and the time I would ideally like to do it, and then a back up plan. The Oh Shit plan as it were. This plan gave me alternate times for working out in case my original plan didn’t work, as well as alternate workouts. 

In all fairness, this takes some thought and duh obviously planning on my part which is something I usually do over the weekend when I’m looking at my week ahead. It takes me being intentional and realistic to my time constraints as well as being methodical for what workouts go on which days (as well as back up workouts) so I can continue to see gains from working out.

For me, this works most of the time. I’m still learning the art of being flexible and patient but I feel better knowing that I now have something to fall back on just in case.

What? You Thought It Would Just Go Back to Normal?

I used to laugh, when I would read articles about things that contribute to someone not losing weight, like stress levels or lack of sleep as I was breastfeeding my baby at 1am or trying to get a fussy child to sleep in the middle of the night. Literally everything about becoming a parent is contraindicated to losing weight.

My delivery with Grace sucked. While it could’ve been tremendously worse, when I was sitting in an orthopedic surgeon’s office when Grace was 3 months old being told that delivery worsened a herniated disc I didn’t even know I had, and my pelvis was completely displaced, oh and there was nothing they could do for me because I was breastfeeding, it was a little hard to stay positive.

I remember feeling so discouraged that my body would be in this much pain for however long, I was so inflamed you couldn’t even tell I had already lost half of the baby weight, and I was exhausted. I would drive to places and not even remember how I had gotten there the fatigue was so extreme.

It wasn’t just the sleepless nights. Chronic pain is this amazingly awful thing that trickles into every single aspect of your life. Your body is working overtime to deal with nerves and stuff firing, to address the pain that’s putting you into a constant state of stress, top that with becoming a mama and not being able to rest (which was what I needed) and I was in a world of hurt. I also had massive digestive issues post partum that I never experienced before and were embarrassing to the point that my husband didn’t even know about it.

I have to say that even with all I went through with my foot, it was this time when I really felt like there was no light at the end of the tunnel. I thought this was my new normal and I was just going to have to figure out a way to survive.

I was at a loss. I didn’t understand why I looked flabby even though I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight and back to doing two-a-days most days of the week. I wanted to believe it was temporary but I just couldn’t wrap my head around the whole thing. I had no energy for anything because my body hurt so badly. I couldn’t stand too long without my back hurting, I couldn’t sit without my back hurting, I was waking up in the middle of the night in pain.

It’s no way to live. This is not a solid existence to me. I was seeking out help and answers too but everyone around me was at a total loss. I had one doctor tell me that my digestive issues were my new normal that there was nothing I could do even though I was adhering to a very rigid way of eating.

It was so discouraging that I can’t even find the words to describe it. I eventually found my way past it all, it took time and the flexibility to be willing to change things to see what changes helped and which ones didn’t, but I got to the other side. I can sit here today and tell you that when I was in the thick of it, I didn’t think I would ever get to the other side and now, I’m proud of the work I’ve done.

It’s pushed me to share because I know that becoming a mom will change aspects of your life that you never anticipated changing. Becoming a mom changes you in ways you never anticipated you would change and it changes every single relationship you’ve ever had or currently have. There’s no way to know what that change will look like until it actually happens and there is light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes we just need to be reminded of that light.