My Supermodel Days Are Over

I’ll never look like that.

That ☝️ thought ever cross your mind? It sure has crossed mine. More times than I would care to admit. Welcome to the age of social media right? Where every mom that pops into your search feed looks perfect, put together, and like she’s never stressed. Ever. 

Like OMG how does she have 6 kids under the age of 10, 6 pack abs, AND she cooks every single freaking meal from scratch??

Ok so how do I look like that AND actually sleep through the night? Or is that just a total unicorn?

It’s not fun. Especially after you’ve had a baby, and now you’re working while trying to juggle this whole parenting thing AND have balance in your own life. Good luck. I guess those flat abs were a thing of the past?

You can go deep down a rabbit hole of despair when these thoughts begin to invade your mind. In like the worst way possible because the next thing you know, you’re depressed AF and you’re giving up on every single goal you’ve set for yourself. Because why try when you’re never going to actually get to your goal?

Don’t get me wrong, there’s so much power in embracing your own strength and beauty, but it takes a hot second. Arguably the hardest aspect of this journey is in embracing that your journey is yours alone and you can’t compare what you’re doing to what someone else is doing. I remind myself of this ALL THE TIME. I also remind myself that life presented on social media is often not a realistic reflection of what is happening in that person’s real life.

Here’s my Pro Tip when that negativity starts creeping in:

• Sit your ass down and write down 10 amazing things you’ve accomplished. It’s just 10 friend, and it’s not as hard as you think. If you want the help, if you’re that hung up, I’ll help you. Because I see you and I see your resiliency, your strength, and every single thing you’ve accomplished.

When you find yourself letting that negativity creep in again, because it will, remind yourself of at least one of those things. Then put your phone down and get back to work.

I Turned My Pain Into Power

When I first got hurt, I didn’t think that my story was interesting or really even dramatic. It wasn’t until more people asked and I shared more that I realized my story was a little dramatic. I guess that makes sense. Not walking for a year is definitely not something that happens to every person.

In hindsight, it’s not even the injury itself that makes the situation dramatic. For most people, it’s seeing how I walk, workout, live my life in general and then finding out this traumatic event happened to me that’s dramatic. Because they can’t tell by looking at me that anything significant has happened to my body, that I had this life altering thing happen, or that I overcame such a major, well…THING.

Unbeknownst to them, that was my goal. I was YOUNG when I got hurt, and I knew that the life ahead of me would be (hopefully) long and fantastic. But I also knew that I didn’t want to be treated any differently than anyone else around me. I didn’t want the stares I received when I was in a wheelchair with metal sticking out of my foot, I didn’t want the special treatment I received when I couldn’t walk, I just wanted to be like everyone else.

So I took all the pain I experienced both physically and emotionally, and I reverse engineered it to make me stronger. I knew that pain could derail me, bring me down, it could ruin my whole life, or it could become my source of power. It could show me how strong and capable I am, how resilient I am, and how I have an amazing support system around me that builds me up when I can’t hold myself up.

I tell my classes every time the work gets hard to remind themselves that they’ve made it through 100% of their bad days, so they can do whatever it is that I’m asking them to do. I tell them that because I tell myself that when the work gets hard. If I can get through that pain and anguish, I can do just about anything and be grateful for the opportunity to be ABLE to do it.

What Do You Do When Your Workouts SUCK?

Girl I have some workouts that S U C K. Still.

Just because I’m in the fitness industry and train people daily doesn’t mean I don’t have times in my own workouts where I want to LITERALLY throw my towel across the room. Maybe I slept shitty, maybe I didn’t eat properly before, shoot maybe I’m near my cycle, or maybe a certain small human keeps interrupting me. 

I know I could let those days totally get me down, I could even stop the workout early if I wasn’t feeling it. Or just half ass my effort…

Those solutions don’t work for me though. 

Prior to my injury, I worked out on a regular basis. It was out of necessity. My role in the military dictated that I maintain a certain physical standard so working out and nutrition were priorities of mine. It created habits in me that have stayed with me even until today.

Working out after I recovered from my injury as well as after I had Grace SUCKED. I knew I had to do it to have the kind of quality of life I was seeking, and I had the habits as well as skill set in place to work out efficiently, but it was horrible. I didn’t feel strong, it took a lot of frustrating time to understand the capabilities of my body post all the surgeries, and it HURT. My body was in pain, it was inflamed, and while I listened to my limitations and did workouts that were appropriate for me, it still hurt.

I started doing two things when I worked out and I wasn’t feeling it to get myself through:

1. I used visualization. It helped clear my mind, it gave me something to focus on besides what I was doing, and it distracted me enough to get through the workout. What I visualize differs depending on my mood, and I usually go to whatever my mind naturally wanders towards. It’s either my end goal, like my ultimate goal for myself in my own fitness journey OR it’s the visualization of how far I’ve come. I see myself in a bed at my parents’ house unable to walk and I visualize the journey I’ve already gone through that’s gotten me to today.

2. I think of something positive and I put that shit on repeat. We tend to get so negative and critical when we’re working out. It’s the “we’re not enough” syndrome kicking in. Fuck that. I think about how I’ve made it through 100% of my bad days, so I got this or I think “you can do this” and I put that on replay in my mind until my workout is done.

It works for me, it doesn’t make the workout magically become easier but it gives me a clearer focus so I can get through what I’m doing. 

Then, and this is key, at the end of the workout, even if it’s the worst workout of all time and I’m so happy it’s over I’m not even enjoying the endorphin rush, I celebrate the workout. I celebrate the fact that I woke up, that my body can move and give me this gift, and that I GET to give this time to myself.

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You Can't Expect Me to Remember a Workout When I'm This Tired

I’ve never been as tired as when I first became a mom. This is coming from someone who was training to be in the military, and those training experiences look like child’s play in comparison to the fourth trimester. Like seriously, I remember being up for DAYS on Army training exercises, but giving birth and then the first few months that followed sucked WAY more. That kind of exhaustion is completely indescribable unless you’ve experienced it yourself. Even then it’s that nod of acknowledgement because I still can’t find the words. 

I remember turning around and going back home one day because I forgot to brush my teeth. That kind of tired. 

So I don’t even know how you can live in that space of exhaustion and be expected to remember a workout, much less be motivated to workout in the first place. Hard pass. 

But yet, if you want that baby weight to come off you have to do more than just breastfeed. You have to eat well and you have to move your body. It doesn’t have to be crazy, it doesn’t have to be aggressive, no one’s going to give you a medal for going bat shit crazy on the workouts but you have to do something. 

My 3 Tips for Post Baby Workout Plans:

1. I wrote down my workouts. Like in my planner every single week down to the hour I could work out. And then I scheduled a back up time with a potential back up workout in case my first plan fell through. Writing it down meant I knew what I was supposed to do and it wouldn’t get lost in my mom brain fog.

2. I walked Sully. He hated it, it’s not my favorite thing BUT it meant I was getting fresh air, moving my body and doing something in case #1 didn’t work out. And it was the easiest thing to do that included Grace. Plus the low impact aspect of walking meant I could do it after I got cleared to workout by my doctor but while I was still building up my strength.

3. I asked for help so I could workout. I asked people to come over and watch Grace so I could get a workout in. Granted this wasn’t a regular request, but it was a nice option to have every once in awhile so I could get my workout done and have a second to myself.

10 Best Exercises For Women With No Equipment

Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to have this massive in home gym to get you body in shape or even belong to some fancy pants gym that charges you a bajillion dollars, but you’re low key not even sure how to work most of the equipment. 

All you need is you. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge fan of cross training, I’m a proponent of moving resistance in the form of additional weight because all of those things will benefit your body as well and not just in the immediate. When we think of the longevity of our lives and what quality we want that life to be, we need to take care of the body we have, so yes girl you need to be doing different modalities of fitness. In the long run, for a variety of reasons, this will pay off for your overall health and well being.

But in the immediate, when you are maybe learning what you’re doing, maybe you’re intimidated by the prospect of walking into a huge gym, or maybe you just don’t have time right now to go to the gym, there’s still options.

That option my friend, is you. Your body is perfectly equipped as it is to make you sweat, to burn calories, to keep your forward momentum to your weight loss and healthy living goals. You just have to know how to use it. 

Before we get into the exercises I regularly turn to so I make sure I move my body, I want to provide this disclaimer: I know you can YouTube everything under the sun and you should if there’s an exercise that you’re not familiar with because it’ll give you a basic idea. But if you want a solid breakdown of not just how to do the exercise correctly, but also whether or not YOU are doing it correctly, working with a coach is key. You might be busting out reps on an exercise and thinking that you’re totally kicking ass, only to come to find out that you’ve been doing it incorrectly for next to forever and potentially putting yourself in a place where you can cause injury. In that same thought, you could be doing an exercise, it could feel funky and totally off, and you might have NO idea how to fix whatever it is that you’re doing.

Don’t go at this alone. Ask advice, throw your questions to your coach (hey that’s me!), make sure you’re doing things correctly. It’s worth it in the long run.

Now that my safety speech is out of the way here’s what I do:

• Squats

• Burpees

• Push ups

• Lunges (forward, backward, lateral)

• High knees

• Butt kickers

• Heisman

• Mountain climbers

• Side planks

• Planks