There's Never a Right Time

There will never be a right time. 

Before I get going, let me just say: I’m totally here for the selfcare movement. It’s abut time people caught up with what I’ve been doing since my injury. I knew if I didn’t take care of myself, I wouldn’t have the quality of life I wanted, and I had SO much life in front of me, that wasn’t something I was willing to sacrifice.

That being said, some of these selfcare gurus can GTFO. Cordially of course. But seriously. GTFO. I mean do they even have kids??? Because what they’re talking about with the chaos that is MY household, is I M P O S S I B L E.

I never realized how busy life could be until I had a kid. All of a sudden, my days were broken down into increments of time that accommodated her needs. Mix that in with working, managing a household and trying to get food on the table for dinner, and any time for me very quickly went out the door. Because I needed to make sure that everyone else was taken care of before I even considered taking care of myself. Like by the time everything is organized and somewhat under control, it’s already 10pm and time for bed.

So good luck trying to do anything that involves making sure you’re hitting your healthy living goals, right?

I mean why even bother to get started when your attention will inevitably get diverted every single day to something else? Reality is that there’s always going to be something pulling you in a different direction, diverting your attention, or taking up your time. There’s never a “good” time to push yourself, to get uncomfortable, to get healthy. 

So start now. That doesn’t mean you turn around tomorrow and start training for a marathon. Let’s be clear. Starting now needs to be something that’s accessible for you in YOUR life with YOUR schedule. For every single person as a result, starting now will look different.

Maybe it means planning what you’ll cook for dinner so you can plan out your grocery list instead of impulse buying and winging dinner when you walk into the store. Maybe it means asking your partner to take the kids for 30 minutes so you can grab a quick HIIT workout or go for a walk around your neighborhood. Maybe it means packing your lunch the night before for work, so you’re not scrambling at the last minute in the morning and either packing something unhealthy or giving up and going through a drive through.

Self care, putting your health first does need to start now. You deserve it. You give of yourself every single day to SO many people, you really do deserve to feel amazing and to be happy with how you look.

But self care doesn’t have to nor should it, be something that causes you stress. Self care, especially in terms of living healthy, can be small incremental changes over time that build on each other to create the life you want. Almost like tricking yourself into being healthy. One thing at a time, one day at a time, and while I know that’s a slower transition than what you want, it will give you the result you want along with the habits to maintain it.

Sustainable Change

I want your life to have balance and the changes you make to be sustainable. Have you thought about that? WTF is all of this for if the changes you make are not sustainable?

Are you so focused on the journey that lies ahead of you and what that end goal looks like, that you’re not thinking past the end goal?

There is no point to A N Y of the work that you’re doing if it’s not going to create a healthy lifestyle for you. Not a temporary change, but a permanent one. Don’t get me wrong, I get wanting that goal of fitting into your favorite pre-baby skinny jeans without having to hold your breath or lay on your back to zip them so badly that you can taste it. I get it because I was there too.

You can hold onto that goal with both hands and all your might. Let it give you determination and let it give you the will power to reach it.

While you do that, I’m going to hold onto the goal that the determination you feel and the goals that you hit will give you the tools you need to make that goal your new reality.

That way you have the tools you need not just to have sustainable change but also to make sure that the goal you’ve worked your ass off for doesn’t slip out of your hands once you get it.

Makes Me Nostalgic

One of my favorite memories growing up was learning how to cook with my grandparents. I was really fortunate to have two sets of grandparents who lived relatively close to my family and were super involved with us growing up. 

I was also super fortunate that they were all amazing cooks. Like amazing. No wonder I love to cook because between the grandparents and my parents, I definitely saw the power of fresh food and creativity in the kitchen. 

Now if your family is anything like mine, you know that the special foods are all busted out near the holidays. For us, that means some serious Italian food for Christmas. Which means this cookie that my family calls Wanda (but we pronounced Wan-see) but you might know it as Frappe or Chiacchiere. Pretty much it’s fried dough with powdered sugar on top that I can eat by the bucket load. It’s that good. Simple and light but super delicious especially with coffee. 

That was always our dessert on Christmas and I LOVED it. I was obsessed with it. So I asked my grandparents how to make it. 

My grandpa had this HUGE circular cutting board and a specific pastry cutter AND rolling pin for this adventure. I’m not even kidding. Now they’re mine. 

Let’s talk about how excited he and my grandma were for this opportunity to teach a grandkid how to make really a part of our heritage. I must’ve been like 8 years old but I still can feel how excited they were to share this part of our family with me. 

Side note: my grandpa, God love him was umm let’s say particular about certain things. Especially when cooking. Like he had his way and not to say your way was wrong BUT his way was better. Oh and if all of your cookies weren’t the same size (this went for meatballs too), the whole batch got tossed and you had to start from scratch. I’m not kidding. But I loved that kind of attention to detail he had. 

Anyways, fast forward to the special trip my grandparents made just to see me and teach me how to make this cookie. 

I’m standing there in my parents kitchen, circular cutting board and all, sandwiched between them, listening to them bicker OVER my head about who made it better. It didn’t stop there. Then it was them telling me why each of them had a better method and why I shouldn’t listen to the other one. 

I loved it. I couldn’t stop laughing, they were just so serious about the whole thing and I kept thinking “it’s just a cookie”.

But it’s so much more than that and now every time I cook anything of Italian fare, I’m flooded with all those memories of times I won’t get back but I’m happy to have with me. 

This recipe is my way to do Italian without losing the simple things that make it delicious, while keeping it healthy. 

Give it a shot. Let me know what you think. 

1% better everyday. That’s all I want.

I’ve noticed after all these years of working with ALL these different types of people that everyone shares these commonalities: when you want the change, you want it in a major way and you want it to happen instantaneously.

I can appreciate that sentiment. You’ve been living in this space of ick for so long, it feels like there’s been so much time wasted that when you FINALLY say “ok I’m doing this, I’m making a change”, you want the change NOW. Or yesterday. Whichever is more efficient right?

I’m all here for that kind of attitude. When you want to change your lifestyle so much that you can’t think about anything else and you are bound and determined to make this shit happen for you. That kind of mindset, as a coach, is amazing to work with because you’re not letting anything stand in your way. You suddenly realize how bogus your excuses were and you’re willing to do the work, excuses be damned.

The bad thing about this kind of determination is that it often leads to so many drastic changes, that after you’ve reached your goal, you can’t maintain it.

Like you want so badly to lose the last of the baby weight, that you cut out everything and pretty much eat the diet equivalent of a rabbit. Naturally the weight comes off fast, you breathe this sigh of relief and go back to doing what you were doing before. So long rabbit food. Except now the weight has come back on and more than what you were wanting to lose before. 

Thus begins a dangerous habit of yo-yo dieting that can do all kinds of nasty things to your metabolism, not to mention your self esteem because you’re always feeling like you need to lose weight.

I know my way is more frustrating because the result isn’t instantaneous. But I’m not thinking about the short game, I’m thinking about the long game. I’m thinking that this is going to be the last major change that you need to make because at the end of it, you’ll know your limits, you’ll have control over them and you’ll know that what you’ve done isn’t a diet but a lifestyle change.

Cold Weather is My Jam...and So is Coffee

Back to cold af mornings and you won’t hear one complaint from me. I absolutely hate when you wake up for the day and it’s already hot and you’re already sweating. It seriously drives me nuts. So bring on all the cold weather. Well San Diego cold at least. 

You know what makes cold mornings even better for me? Well a bathrobe for sure but also caffeine. There’s nothing better to me than waking up on a chilly morning, getting cozy again and then getting fully caffeinated for my day. 

That’s why the recipe linked in this blog is my total jam. But it took a second to figure out and wrap my head around. Not only because I was like “butter in coffee? That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard” but also because you have to get the right amount of all the healthy fats in bulletproof coffee to make it taste delicious. 

Holy shit though once you nail it, that frothy goodness is all you need. Especially on fasting days. I’m all about it. I could talk about how healthy fats for women promote healthy brain function, heart function and curb late afternoon sugar cravings but really who cares? We’re all adulting. Caffeine is a must. 

The other rad thing: research coming out shows that women who upload (which is the fancy pants way of saying HAVE MORE) healthy fats in the morning are totally setting themselves up for success. Why you ask? Well…the increase of healthy fats helps you to curb the energy crash that can lead to a sugar increase in the mid-afternoon AND healthy fats in the super long term help to prevent things like Alzheimer’s and dementia. I know you might not think about things like that, but I definitely think about my long term health…constantly.

My word to the wise though: if you’re new to incorporating large amounts of healthy fats into your healthy lifestyle, don’t go all crazy with it. Start with small amounts and gradually increase it over time. Otherwise you might have an adverse reaction that could act as the kind of cleanse that’ll have you spending your chilly morning in your bathroom. Just sayin. And if you need to know what to do because you’re not sure, I’m always here to help. 

Challenge Yourself

I want you to challenge yourself. 

If you want to make this healthy living thing a reality and not just a far fetched dream, you’re going to have to challenge yourself. Because as of right now, the status quo you’re experiencing hasn’t created the change you want to see. I mean shit, if it had then you wouldn’t be complaining about how that baby fat just won’t come off and you wouldn’t dream about the days when you could look at yourself in the mirror and love what you see.

When I think about challenge, I think about the crossroads I came to when I was recovering from my foot as well as from my delivery with Grace. Different situations for sure, but really the same outcome. I could’ve been complacent with my recovery from both and just settled for the easiest road. God on some days, I totally wish I had. But I knew with both situations that I had been given an opportunity to do more with myself than just the basic. The alternative of just barely hanging on and not having the quality of life I wanted for myself didn’t sit well with me. So I challenged myself and I continue to challenge myself to see how I expand my limits.

Let’s talk challenge and change though. I don’t feel like having a healthy lifestyle means you have to cold turkey cut all of the things out of your life or make this huge, drastic change. What I’ve see is that MOST of the time (with a few exceptions) when people do that, the change is not sustainable. Ya maybe for like a month but it goes away as quickly as it came on.

I want you to make incremental changes. The little changes that you can expand upon and build on. It’s not about doing every single change at once, it’s about adding in more change over time.  Then one day you wake up and all of a sudden you have the life you want.

You know what will help you get there?

A solid support system. Have those cheerleaders in your corner who will recognize your accomplishments, see your effort and most importantly hold you accountable to the goals you’ve set for yourself.

I Double Dog Dare You

I double dog dare you to go one day without making a single excuse as to why you can’t create and maintain a healthy lifestyle. 

Then all of a sudden, the baby weight you wanted to lose becomes just extra weight because your baby is now 10 and not a baby anymore and you have NO idea how to even shift your mindset so you can see yourself naked and think damn I’m fine.

I hear ALL the excuses every single day with what I do. I almost want to dare you to give me an excuse you think I haven’t heard before because rest assured, I’ve heard them all. With over 10 years in the fitness industry, working with numerous populations, every person has that go to excuse that holds them back from the goals they’ve set for themself.

You want to know the one difference between the successful people who get the transformation they want and the ones who don’t?

They WANT IT MORE. They want change so badly they can taste it and nothing is going to stand in their way, including those thoughts that used to be all of their excuses.

I was that way after my injury and after my delivery with Grace. The thought of resigning myself to this shitty new normal gave me hives. I couldn’t handle it. I wanted change so badly, I couldn’t focus on anything else. It consumed the majority of my thoughts, and the majority of my actions. Did I always know how I was going to make the change happen? Nope. Definitely not. But I knew I wasn’t going to give up on myself.

The desire to change has to outshine any bullshit you’ve created for yourself in your mind. You just have to be willing to figure it out. 

So how badly do you want that change you’ve been dreaming about?

You Have to Want to Lose Weight

At least more than you want the donuts your co-worker brought into work today.

Willpower. That’s what it all comes down to when you want to lose weight. Are the donuts more important than your weight loss goal?

Now isn’t that a different kind of muscle to work? 

It’s that ability to take a moment and think about the short term gratification verses your long term goals and what matters more to you.

I’m not saying that you should never eat a donut again. Let’s be clear. Donuts are amazing.

What I am saying is that you have to have a clear perspective about what your goals are, what you want and where your priorities lie. Which means that most of the time, sadly yes, you’re going to have to be stronger than the donut and say no to it. You’re going to have to walk away and think about where you want to end up.

Keep reminding yourself of the long game. Keep reminding yourself of what matters to you and how much it matters. 

Exercise your willpower and eventually it’ll be much easier to say no to the donuts.

My Heart Pitter Pattered

Literally my heart pitter pattered when I saw this amazing Autumn Harvest sauce was back at Trader Joe’s. I found this one last year on the recommendation of my best friend and ended up buying that shit in bulk because it was so damn delicious and I knew as a seasonal item, it would be gone SO fast.

Obviously I’m buying in up in bulk again not only so I can make the recipe I’ve linked into this blog but also because I would be an idiot to just leave it on the store shelf. 

While I stock my cart, I have to tell you how I knew this recipe would be delicious before I even ate it.

San Diego gets Indian summers. Pretty much the summer is actually fairly mild and our hot weather doesn’t set in until everyone is knee deep in fall with leaves changes. We’ve had Thanksgivings of over 100 degrees. I don’t understand it, but it’s been that way since I’ve lived here.

Hot weather = nature coming into my backyard. Apparently. And I’m not here for it. But I know this time of year means scorpions (yes I did say that), spiders, mice, snakes, and all the things I would rather NOT see. I love nature. From behind a glass window where it can’t get to me (I blame too much time “camping” in the Army for that one).

I come home one day and notice a weird looking stick in my backyard and think hey that’s weird, wtf is that? Of course I go check it out thankfully without the puppies running after me, and discover it’s NOT a stick but a baby rattlesnake. Sunning itself. In my fucking yard. 

Yes I screamed. I own it. I totally screamed.

Then I called every single professional entity I could think of, went to every single neighbor and called my mom (because duh that’s who I always call in a crisis) before I resigned myself to knowing I was going to have to call the fire department for snake removal. Because there was NO way I was going after that thing myself.

Why my hesitation in calling the fire department? When you have a sibling who works as a first responder, you know that you don’t ever want to be that person who calls 9-1-1 for something that you could’ve handled yourself. It’s embarrassing. AF. Kinda like the time I got stuck in an elevator in between floors and had to call the fire department to get me out but that’s a story for another blog.

Side note: I’m walking distance from the fire station. I don’t know how that’s relevant but it seems relevant.

Cut back to me lamenting about calling the fire department and then waiting for them to show up and successfully remove said snake. They did what they needed to do, crisis averted. They even showed Grace the snake (no thanks from me), let her climb around in the truck and gave her all kinds of swag (shout out to Station 57 who always hooks it up and is awesome with the kids).

On the way out, every single one of them commented on how whatever I was cooking sounded amazing and they wanted to know what it was and if it was going to be done soon so they could give it a try. If you don’t know, firefighters are fantastic cooks so I knew this one would be a total keeper.

Check it out for yourself though and let me know.

Losing Weight Sucks

I think losing weight is one of the hardest things we can do. Like annoyingly hard. Especially if you’re doing it the right and healthy way and not trying to find a quick fix. 

Because the weight didn’t come on overnight, so it’s not going to come off overnight either, especially if what you want to see is sustainable change. But it’s frustrating. You’re not thinking about the series of bad decisions that led to you now looking in the mirror analyzing every part of your body that you don’t like, having a hard time finding clothes that fit properly, or squeezing those parts of your body that you feel are a little...off...

I’m just calling it like I see it. You’re not thinking about the fact that you have been going through the line at the fast food joint more often than not because you didn’t prep dinner, you’re not thinking about diving into the box of cookies late at night and you’re sure af not thinking about all those times you said “I’ll work out tomorrow”. 

It’s just reality. But at some point you’re going to get to the point where you’re like damn I’m so over this and I HAVE to make a change. And you want the change to be instantaneous. 

So it’s hard when you start that journey and nothing happens. You’re putting in the work and it feels like nothing is changing, like you’re doing the work for nothing. Of course our natural inclination as humans is to be like “I’m done”. I mean why do the work if there’s no pay off? I can understand that. Especially as a parent, busy adult, all those things…you’re working healthy living into an already hectic schedule, so when you’re not seeing any transformation, it’s like why keep adding this complication in to my day?

But seriously, those LBS are going to be the LAST thing you see any change in. It’s a shitty prospect, I realize that, but the scale is going to be the slowest thing to change. There’s tons of reasons behind this, there’s a lot of science I won’t get into, and the sad truth is that since most people want to see that number change first, when it doesn’t change, they stop trying.

This is where I really want YOU to be aware of everything going on in your life. Have a journal, take notes in your phone via SIRI, I don’t care how you do it, but you need to have a mindfulness of more than just the scale. In fact, when you first start your journey into health and living, as well as weight loss, I would encourage you to hide your scale for at least 30 days.

Take note of other things happening around you. Those non-scaleable victories. Are you happier? Are you more energized? Have you been able to cut back on your afternoon cup of coffee because you don’t feel that afternoon slump? Are you craving the candy bars less? What about patience? Have more of that lately with your kids?

Those things are all wins to me. Those are all transformations. Those are all aspects of this journey that are worth celebrating because they make your life better. So take note of them. Celebrate them. Focus on them and don’t worry…the change on the scale will come.